Sometimes you need to look at the finish line before you know where to start.
People learn habits from both positive reinforcers and negative reinforcers, but it has been shown through disciplines, such as Stoicism, and self-improvement gurus, such as Tim Ferriss, that these antiquated methods have very limited caps to their potential for actual self-improvement. What good is any added or subtracted habit if you don’t know the why?
Answering the “why” makes it tremendously more likely you will lose those 20 pounds or kick that crippling gambling habit. The reason behind this is simple and it is also why many people refuse to take the mental vacation to look inward.
By answering the “why”, you immediately know if your “why” is bullshit or not. For example: did you want to lose the 20 pounds to look sexier for a partner or did you do it to live healthier? Bullshit whys are directed outward and focus of external people and factors. This thought process leads to an endless list of checked off boxes that for some reason leave you feeling less fulfilled than when you started.
What’s the number 1 constant in all our lives? It’s us and it is about time we started giving ourselves some needed attention. Always direct inward and you can’t miss.
The dirty little secret? The inner world that you’ve left disheveled and unattended to is already and constantly affecting your outside world.
Want to alleviate anxiety? Look inward at your automatic thoughts in a given situation and make practical, and realistic peace with them. No, not everyone notices the stain on your tie and most of them do not care that have.
Want to become a more effective communicator with your peers, coworkers, and the opposite sex? Do the inner homework and learn how to better project your voice and intentions. Learn the art of body language. Quick tip: crossed legs means she isn’t interested in you and or the subject matter.
I can give a million more examples, but the point is clear: look at your why. Skip to the end of the movie review and start working backwards. Was the entire movie based on bullshit…like most movies today, or was their real substance there? I’ll never know.
And you won’t either until you give yourself the attention you deserve.