We all have regrets.
There are the small ones that happen day to day. Maybe you forgot about an appointment and missed it. Depending on your baseline resolve, anxiety levels, and tendencies with labeling (which we will cover later on), these small infractions can scale all the way from minor annoyances to full-blown catastrophes in your head. And that point it doesn’t matter what reality is, you’ve either created your own Hell or you haven’t.
Then there are the big ones that don’t occupy our mind until either something in life directly puts us there or age naturally takes its course. The irony is that we tend to get worked up and obsess over minor annoyances, like traffic, much more than our health, long-term goals, our relationships, and lack of purpose in our lives.
The main reasons for this are our constant motivators that come down to two aspects: our pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain. That might sound simplistic and black and white, but when you really think deeply as to why you do or don’t do something, it comes down to pain vs pleasure.
With the world as it stands today, we are at a crisis. This comes in many different forms such as our divided country due to political parties, our lack of developed relationships due to our smart phones, and our general emptiness that continues to grow with every pair of Nike shoes we purchase. We’ve become so accustomed and addicted on consistent dopamine hits that we are on a direct course to utter isolation, deep depression, and unjust hatred of our fellow human beings.
One way to turn away from this trend is strict discipline. Taking charge of your phone addiction and learning to meditate and stay in each passing moment…but that doesn’t answer our lack of purpose or emptiness in our guts that we feel. The only way out of that is two fold: pursue the path you were born to achieve and to put others before yourself (ie. See life as bigger than our grandiose egos that control our thoughts now).
This “putting others before yourself” is accomplished either through religion, which isn’t necessary, or any cause that you feel a passion for or that you think your particular skillset could further develop and assist. Connecting with others raises our empathy skills and awareness and gets us out of our heads and inner monologue dictating us each day.
Pursuing the path you were born to achieve could seem like a futile endeavor. “How the hell am I supposed to know what I was born to do, Jeffrey?” You might ask. Well, it isn’t as hard as you might believe it to be. Think of your earliest moments in life you remember. These tend to be reflected with our parents and usually it’s tied to emotional bonds we either shared or didn’t with them. But think back to further memories. Like in grade school. What were certain things you were naturally drawn to without any outside influence? Was their a subject matter that you just couldn’t help to continuously read books and articles about? Was there an activity like acting, drawing, or any other creative expression that enamored you? Your favorite television shows or movies…what were the main points of those movies or why were you drawn to particular characters?
It is all there. I’m currently 26 and haven’t made the first step in reaching my full potential yet, but I have recently discovered what I was born on this planet to do and I will put my soul into this pursuit because there is no other way to live a fulfilling life.
Do not be blinded by money, status, sex, or any other shallow goal that will only lead to a unfulfilling conclusion. You do not want to be 50 years old, lacking in health, when you finally decide to take life seriously.
The life that passed you by so far cannot be touched or returned to. But how you live today is fully within your grasp. Take it by the fucking balls.
Regards as always,